Your own bully

Hello and how are ya? Hoping you are well in to a marvelous week. It seems like they last about 3 million minutes from start to finish around here. All week we wish for Friday then, poof, the weekend is gone and were mid week again. Life’s just so busy we just don’t get the time to sit back and enjoy. So for now let’s talk about something other than work. Let’s talk about our worth

Did you ever get bullied as a kid? Thats a touchy subject I know. I don’t believe that I ever did except one time when I was in elementary school. It was about 3rd or 4th grade and a girl named Amy used to give me so much grief. She would mauk me and laugh. Some of the other kids in my class would get a kick out of it. It got to the point where I didn’t want to go to school. I remember lying in bed at night with anxiety about facing another day of smirks and remarks. It wasn’t long after when my daddy began to notice the difference in me. One evening after dinner he told me that I needed to tell him what was wrong. I just remember crying and thinking it was the end of the world that someone was speaking ill of me and didn’t like me. Lordy little did I know, I would have so many folks not like me and speak ill of me throughout my life. I do however; remember daddy just saying, you can’t let someone treat you like that and if you do it’s your fault. He told me to either handle it or learn to tune it out. Wellllllllll it wasn’t long after that until I had myself a little fight at school and got in to trouble. I decided to “handle” it with a little girl fight lol. Am I ashamed of that decision now? Sure. Fighting isn’t good. But, do I regret it? No I don’t. Let me tell you why. After the little scuffle, Amy and I actually became friends. And to this day, some 38 years later, if I see her out we speak and talk. Oh, and I didn’t get punished at home for the fight because daddy sort of didn’t elaborate on how to handle the situation. He meant for me and the girl to talk it out not to be judy choppin lol.

I have a zero tolerance for a bully. When it came to my son I was that mom. They one that went to the school and went off when he was having any trouble lol. Thats terrible, but true. What I began to realize is that those that do the bullying usually have an issue that they are trying to deal with themselves. Because of that, the bullying doesn’t end in elementary school. Adults can be a bully too. I’ve met my share of them over the years. Some were just rude and would do anything to make your daily life a living hell. Others are sneaky and seem to be so sweet and a friend then as soon as they are certain they have you under control they turn on you like a snake in the grass. It happens more often than we realize. The best advice that I was ever given about these adult situations was from a friend years ago while we were teaching a Sunday school class together. Her simple words were “Darling, don’t sit at any table where you are the topic of their conversation when you leave”. Unfortunately, she meant anywhere, including church. Cause yea it happens there too. What strong advice. I mean think about that. Don’t sit with people whom are going to talk ill of you when you walk away. Don’t associate with that. Because kings and queens you deserve better than that. You get up, adjust your crown, lift your chin, and walk on. There are plenty of other tables to sit at. And when you finally find your tribe, well honey, they will love you for you and will be your friends for life.

Anywho, you are saying, well the title of this little tale is “be your own bully” and you’ve been talking about other people bullying you. Patience! I want to ask you a question. When is the last time that you said or even thought something negative to yourself? I bet if you really think about it you put yourself down in some way every single day. Ladies, you know I’m going to say we are constantly on ourselves about weight, or how we look or don’t look in our clothing, our hair, our makeup, and the list goes on for a dozen more. Fella’s do you compare yourself to your buddies? Is your truck not as nice as theirs, or you income not as much as theirs, the house isn’t as big, they have a bigger boat etc, etc, etc. When we think things like this about ourselves, we are being our own bully. Now ya’ll I am the first to say, I am the worst to do this. Not because I want to look like the woman in the pages of the magazine or even that I want anything material. I’m an old Hippy with a Hyundai Kona that I’ll drive the wheels off of. I’m content in my modest home with the big yard. Nature and music and farmers markets and bookstores make me happy. But, I am critical of myself. Very critical of my weight. And I’ve struggle with that self criticism my entire life. At the end of the day, I just want to feel good in my clothing, look lean and healthy, and be desired by my husband. Well guess what. Even those little thoughts are me bullying me. Negative thinking of yourself is bullying yourself.

So here’s what I want you to do. And here’s what I want me to do. Me! Because I need it as much as each of you. Tomorrow. Yes Thursday tomorrow (or the day after your read this post no matter when you do) I want you to wake up and breathe deeply. Walk in front of that mirror. Look at yourself ( crazy hair, bad breath and all) and tell yourself ” I AM ENOUGH”. You are. No matter what. You are enough. Don’t bully yourself tomorrow or any day after that. When you begin to have a negative thought about yourself, stop. Instead of the negative thought or comment, just simply say “I’m a work in progress”. I vow to do this all day tomorrow and I want you to as well. Let’s see if it makes our day much better. Don’t go back to yesterday because you were a different person then!

I hope you have the very best night and a great day tomorrow!

Always…….Brooke