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But, we do judge a book by its cover!

Oh happy day…..It is Friday! Woohoo bring on the weekend with hopefully no alarm clocks for us all. There’s nothing like not hearing my phone ping at 5:30 am. For tomorrow I will sleep in lol. Wishful thinking as I never do. It’s the thought of no alarm that counts. It’s those little things that I appreciate so much.

Every week day I spend my time with a bunch of fellas who help folks leave a legacy by providing financial planning through investments and life insurance. I spend about 8 hours with them every single day. Is it the truth that we spend almost more time with our work family then we do with our families at home. Count the sleep time and I promise your coworkers may know you more than the loved ones at home. Today I was talking with one of the fellas and I realized a little something. Even though I try really very hard not to, I do often judge a book by its cover. I used an example of a salesmen in my discussion. This about this (or “picture it, Sicily 1922 lol. Just kidding its not a golden girls story), a gentlemen walks in to a car dealership to purchase an automobile. He’s very well dressed, clean shaven, and smells of the latest cologne trend which he thinks makes him smell like money. All the salesmen want to take care of the guy. I mean they are bound to sell him the nicest car on the lot. After all he would look just perfect it in. He would “fit” the bill to drive the ultra expensive car. The salesman takes him on a test drive and he’s certain that in about an hour (or 7 if you live around here. Our dealerships are slow as molasses”) he’s gonna get a good commission check in his pocket. They go to the office and the games begin,

Now imagine the same day, same group of salesmen. Same car lot. A little old beards man walks in wearing bibbed overalls. His hair is down his back and his beard is yellow from all the cigarettes he smoked. He smells of heat and dirt and a little cow manure. They salesmen hang out in the cool while the little man walks around the lot looking for a truck. As he starts to walk toward the building, the salesmen disappear as quickly as possible and the 3 that are left draw straws to see who the unlucky one is that gets to help the little smelly man. In their eyes, he gonna be a waste of time. Even if he finds a truck it will have to be the cheapest one on the lot and it probably wont even be a sale. The lone salesman takes his for a test drive in a big dual wheel truck then basically tells the poor fella that he probably cant afford it.

Skip ahead a bit. You’ve got two gentlemen sitting in two offices trying to make a “deal”. (By the way, new cars are never a deal. They are gonna rip you off a little). Mr. “I look like I got it all” in one room and Mr. “I work hard for a living” in another. Do you know where this story is headed? I’m pretty sure you do but, I’m gonna tell you anyway. After a ton of time and wheeling and dealing Mr. perfect leaves with his head low. No vehicle, no commission. He was loaded with debt and can barely make his bills. He’s a month behind on everything. He’s currently in a lease that he cant get out of and it’s about to get ugly when the payment triples in a month. The salesman is floored and is defeated.

Next door, the salesman who always gets the unwanted customers and who drew the short straw is talking to the little stinky man. He’s in awe of what he is learning from him. The little fella is a book of knowledge about almost everything. He even negotiates a price that is a little more fair with the salesman. When the salesman says “now your old truck out there will only get you about $2000.00 of trade in value”, the little man just simply says “I never told you I was trading my old truck in. I will be keeping it”. After a ton of trips back and forth negotiating the price,the salesman gets all of the paperwork out for the financing. The little man stands up and gets an envelope out of his pocket. He proceeds to pay the salesman in cash. Not only that, he leaves his new truck in the parking lot until the next day when he can get his wife of 50 years to bring him back to pick it up. And by the way, he bought the brand new, 4 door, dual wheel truck.

And here’s the rest of the story. How many time are you the salesman racing to the individual that you “think” has it all. How many times are you making time to personally get to know the ones that appear to be less fortunate. Not everything is how it appears on the outside. That person that walks in for the interview that doesn’t “fit the bill” may end up being the best employee that you’ve ever had. That little man that appears to have nothing is probably one of the smartest people you’ve ever met and he’s probably got envelopes of money hiding all around his house. That man that appears to have it all may not have it together one little bit. On the outside people “appear” to be something when truly they are just who they are on the inside. So, don’t judge a book by its cover. Just because a persons path isn’t the same as yours doesn’t mean it is wrong. We all put our pants on the same way every day. Some pants are hand me downs and some are fresh pressed and bought at the fancy department store but, they all go on the same way. Don’t be a judgin. That little smelly man knows more that you or I will ever learn. Have a great weekend. Many blessings ❤️ Always.

I’m out..and that’s okay

Good Thursday night all. We’ve almost made it to the weekend and I couldn’t be more excited. This week has been full of just “stuff”. Enough busyness going on to leave me exhausted mentally and physically. I’m sure that you all experience that from time to time. It makes you look forward to a little down time. We wish our life away by looking forward to the weekends but, for me, sometimes my weekends are busier than my work week. This week will be no less than that. Life is so good and I’m so blessed but man I get tired.

Have you ever noticed that when you have a million things on your plate to do that it effects almost every aspect of your day. I am what you call a planner. I plan everything. I mean everything. I carry a day planner with me every day and if you looked at it you might just think I am a little crazy. You might be right. It may appear that I am very organized if you flip through the pages of that day planner when really I am naturally the opposite. I have a tendency to forget things. If I don’t have things written down in front of me I certainly will forget. Most of you know that I make cakes and cupcakes. It’s a hobby and a love, not a job. People order from me often because I don’t over change, I deliver locally, and well, I’m not bragging, but they are really good. Several months ago I was sitting at my “real” job when I get t text message from my cousin that says “I am in town, what time can I meet you to pick up the cupcakes”. That’s not an odd text. In fact I get texts like that most every day. The problem is, I forgot to make them! You see, I didn’t write it down in my planner which meant as soon as I talked to her about it two weeks prior, I gave it not one more thought. I was sitting there in a huge panic. Thankfully she was my cousin and didn’t actually “need” them until the next night. From that day forward, my big 8X10 planner went everywhere I went. On the outside some of us may seem like we have it all together when really there’s been a huge mess up that has caused us embarrassment which made us do things a little better from that point forward. Check on your friends that seem to be planners and organized…….we are not okay lol!

I am now and have always been a gal who doesn’t like idle time. My down time is literally about 30 minutes in the later evening whenI sit and blog, read, listen to records, or diamond paint (if you haven’t diamond painted before give it a try. It’s cheap and fun and just so relaxing. The finished product is also beautiful.). For me it is a mental healer to stay busy. I hit the floor running every single day and I don’t regret a single second of it except for when I get exhausted. Yes, I get completely mentally, and physically exhausted. Often we get so busy that we keep ourselves awake at night thinking about what all we did or need to do. Do you do that? I do too. And we need to STOP IT. My brain has a hamster that won’t get out of the wheel at about 3 am and it is ridiculous. A few weeks ago I read an article about what a toll not sleeping has on your body. “Your body needs a minimum of 6.5 hours of sleep to simply function. 4 of those hours need to be deep sleep”. I mean for real???? I am lucky to get 4 hours total. Forget deep sleep. I could hear a piece of hair hitting the floor when I’m trying to sleep. 6.5 hours of sleep…..In my dreams (no pun intended). Seriously though, it’s nothing to joke about. Not sleeping enough can cause a rise in blood pressure, blood sugar, and inflammation. That’s just 3 of the side effects. Reading on it explained to link between sleep deprivation and hair loss, weight gain, lazy gut, heart palpitations and so much more. I mean, at this point I outta be in pretty bad shape. SOOOOOO what’s the solution. I don’t have one lol. I can tell you what helps me is to write before I go to sleep. Get all of those ideas, thoughts, anxieties, and worries down on a piece of paper. If I get it out it keeps me from thinking about it at 3 am. Now you could also take a sleep aide but, you also know that I do not like medication so get you a notebook and a good pencil. It will make you feel better.

This week has probably been one of the mentally busiest Ive had in a while. Earlier I told you I hit the ground running every day. Well that lovelies, is the honest truth. And I go until bed time. I get so excited about my planning and checking todo’s off my list. It’s very fulfilling. Then all of the sudden, just as heavy as Thor’s hammer, BAM! Exhaustion. Y’all its good to work. It’s important to be productive. It’s satisfying to mark off the to do’s. However; it’s also extremely important to rest. And P.S. don’t feel one ounce bad about it. Tonight my body said “old gal this body is tired and you are finished”. After dinner, I was sitting talking to my sweet husband when I just couldn’t hold my thoughts together. Immediate brain fog and it was like I had amnesia. I couldn’t remember a single thing that I needed to do. With that I looked at my hubby and said “okay I’m out, and that’s okay”. He looked at me and just said “absolutely, go get comfortable and get some sleep”.

What I wanted to drive home with tonight’s post is, if “you’re out, its okay”. Don’t allow yourself to be so busy that you completely exhaust yourself. Besides, you cant do good and take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself. Your body is your temple. Protect it and rest it so that it will perform the way you need it to. It’s okay to sleep, take a break and relax when your precious body says “nay, nay we aren’t doin this no more”. So for tonight, before 8:30 pm, I’m out and that’s okay. Have a wonderfully blessed evening. Take a moment and write those thoughts down so they don’t wake you up. Grab your cozies and curl up. It’s okay to rest. Love, Always

They grow up

Hello lovely friends. I hope your summer is going beautifully. Mine sure is. June and July just happen to be two of my very favorite months. Yes, because it’s summer but, more so because two of the most important people in my life celebrate their birthdays. My son was born in June and my husband in July. It makes for great birthday parties in the middle of summer. I can’t say that big fat and pregnant in the middle of the heat was much fun but, it sure was worth it. It’s hard to believe that 19 years ago last month I weighed 100 pounds more than I do now and my little blessing was born. Isn’t it funny how time just flies by when you don’t want it to. Oh how I wish my 6’3” boy was still the little baby that I use to rock to sleep every night. Don’t wish your life away people.

You know those days when youre sitting at work and you are just ready to go home? If you are like me, you sit there thinking about what all you could be doing at home. I have no clue why my mind works that way but it sure does. Especially if my work day isn’t slammed. Most people don’t say this, but I would prefer it be so busy at work that I forget to go to the restroom lol. It makes my day go by faster. On the other hand those slow days seem to make a 10 hour day seem like it’s 965 hours long. I like to get it over with. I mean after all we’re working to pay the bills right? Well……the other day I was sitting there, going crazy because I was all caught up on my work, and wishing it were 5 pm. I realized a few things. While I’m sitting here wishing it were over there are folks out there that would just wish to have my job. I don’t know if I ever told you all what I do but, I work for a life insurance and investment company. I am not an agent but I take care of all of the ins and outs of the office and handle all of the death claims. Y’all, I love it! I know you are saying “death claims and you love it!” Yes, yes I do. This is why. When a person passes away and he or she have a life insurance policy the families come to me. Number one, I get to have interaction with family members who are (95 percent of the time) heartbroken. These folks allow me to listen and I’m able to love on them. That’s right up my alley. Do I feel sorry for them? Always! Do I cry with them? Most of the time. Second, and here’s the biggie, I get to hand those beneficiaries a check. Their loved one cared enough about them to make sure that their final expenses (and they ain’t cheap people) are paid and in a lot of cases, leave a legacy. That is why I love my job. A daughter looses her sweet daddy. She walks in to my office and after being able to listen, I hand her a check that covers not only his funeral bill but pays off her debt and allows her to put money in the bank for her son’s college tuition! Talk about leaving a legacy. Folks if you don’t have life insurance go now, run, go get it. Leave your loved ones well. Life insurance isn’t for you. It’s for the ones you leave behind. It’s a legacy.

Back to wishing my day was over. Not only do people wish for the job that I have, I realized that I not only am I being a negative nelly I was also wishing my life away. Guys, we shouldn’t do that. Time goes by quickly enough without wanted it to go by any faster. That being said I’m trying to savor every second. Even the slow bad ones. For me it’s learning how to make the best of idle time. I clean and “straighten up” a good bit (my grandmother called cleaning, straightening up). I also journal and take a quick walk outside as needed. Find something to do to occupy that down time so that you aren’t wishing your life away. Grab a box of cards and write a note or two to someone you haven’t connected with in a while. It will make their day to receive a compliment or a thinking of you in the mail. And yes I mean real mail. Stamps, paper, pencil. Texts and emails are too impersonal.

Talking about time slipping by so quickly let’s get back to the title of today’s blog. They grow up! Boy do they. I spend a lot of time with my momma. Especially the last 7 years after daddy died. I think my siblings and I just sort of made a pact to not let momma feel alone. For the last several months I’ve been cleaning out the house next door to my parents which they own. Now remember, daddy was a collector (a hoarder might be a better word). I’ve had at least 2 days or evenings a week with momma. I make her sit on the porch swing and dictate what needs to be thrown away, what goes to the antique booth, what needs to be put in a yard sale, and what she just has to keep. It has been a special time for her and I. I just think it’s made us closer. We’ve laughed and cried and wondered what in the hell daddy was thinking keeping such things. Maybe that’s why he did it. To bring us closer and to keep her busy after he died. Who knows. I just know that my heart ached yesterday as she said that we all grew up so fast and that she looked forward to my time there. Now don’t get me wrong, she’s a go getter. She doesn’t sit at home, but she misses her babies. I can’t tell. We grew up. Go set some time to do something with your momma and daddy if you haven’t. They miss their baby and believe me it’s no fun when they are gone. Go love on them and do it today.

My sweet 19 year old baby has grown up so quickly. As I said earlier I am enjoying every single phase of his life and I feel like I couldn’t ever love a human as much as I love him. I thank God every single day for the time I have with him, although it’s getting less and less. They grow up. They need you less. Isn’t that what you’ve been preparing them for all along. I know this boy of mine is just loaned to me for a period of time but, the momma in me never ever leaves. Love on your babies and the people that you love. Savor every second. They grow up. Time marches on by. Don’t regret one second of it. Who you gonna love in today? Think about it. ❤️Always.

Undefeated

Hi y’all and happy Sunday. I hope your day has been great. It has been just beautiful here today. Sunny and 87 degrees. Not a cloud in the sky. Wanna talk about a word. Defeat. What a terrible word. Have you ever been defeated? That feeling of things not turning out the way you wanted them to. The build up of wanting something so badly and then boom, it doesn’t work out. Not performing to the standard that you set for yourself. It bums you out a little doesn’t it? You give it your all but then you fall short. I don’t believe there is feeling much worse than defeat.

Of course we know the negatives but, is there positive to this word. When you sit back and think about it, I sure believe so. If you were running a race and you gave it your all, then who did you beat? You beat yourself. You beat that little voice of doubt in your mind. You beat everyone else that didn’t enter the race. The person that finished in front of you tried just as hard as you did. They gave all the effort that you did. Be happy for those that win and continue to strive yourself. There’s always something to learn from those who do better than you. Challenge yourself to find those lessons. It’s okay (more than okay in my opinion) to not get a “participation trophy”. Besides if everyone gets one then what did the winner really win? Just give me the shirt for participation lol. Leave the trophies to the ones as fast as lightning (I am a turtle lol).

Have you ever been out to dinner at a restaurant that was suggested to you by a friend? You go there because he\she gave it rave reviews. Now if your like me, you’ve watched what you’ve eaten all day long so that you can eat until your hearts content and not get full too quickly. I mean this is suppose to be the best meal you’ve eaten in a very long time according to your friend. You look at the menu on line all day and plan what you want. The full gammon. I mean cocktails, appetizers, your meal, tons of bread and dessert. Now no judgement from you! I like to eat like that when I am going out for the best meal I’ve ever had. Now imagine you get there and the atmosphere is perfect. The service is superb and the place smells devine. You orider that entree that your mouth watered for all day. You take your first bite and “defeat”! I mean you could have gotten a better tasting meal at a drive thru. Some say that is called disappointment but, if I’ve spent my whole day starving myself and gotten that excited believe me brothers and sisters, that’s defeat. So from that you learned not to go there and eat again lol. Or maybe ask the server or chef their suggested dish. Maybe you just picked the wrong one.

Now to today….. When I was a little girl my daddy put out a garden in our back yard. I mean a full on, rototiller garden. It seemed that we harvested a ton of veggies out if that yard every year. We literally had the makings of a farmers market right in our back yard. For that last 3 years I have put 2 raised beds in my back yard. They do okay. Literally just okay. I get some harvest but not what I was expecting (defeated). My daddy has been gone for 7 years. In my heart I know he has a 10 mile garden in heaven right over top of his hunting preserve. I see him carrying his harvest of meat and vegetables to the Lords table every day. And I’m sure they sit there and eat until they are stuffed. All while drinking their RC Cola. (Now that is heaven for my daddy). Back to the story. Last year we had a flash flood in our area. I have a beautiful creek that runs at the back of my yard. We live on an acre so it’s a good ways from the house. But, it wasn’t to far away from my raised beds. Right in front of my eyes the water took my beds, plants and all, right down stream. I literally cried. I worked so hard in that garden. Y’all I even shoveled horse poop in there lol. Defeated.

This year my momma decided that I should put my garden in her back yard where daddy always planted theirs. I spent the last two days rototilling that ground and planting plants. That ground that hasn’t been tilled in probably 11 years. It was hard as a brick. My husband is always my biggest supporter, but today he had some doubts. You see the gas powered tiller quit so I decided to use a smaller, electric tiller, that my sister and I bought for our little raised beds. Both my son and my husband made comments that it wouldn’t work. Can y’all say determination! By George I did it. I tilled that yard with that electric tiller. There are vegetables of all kinds planted in that garden and ready to grow. In my heart I think my daddy was looking down with a little pride. And mom is pretty excited about it. UNDEFEATED!!!! Yes, yes. Undefeated people. I came home and stuck my tongue out at my husband lol. I think secretly he was proud too. Oh, and my son who doubted his old momma came by and brought me some sunscreen on his way to work. I think he was a little proud too.

End result: defeat is just a word. Those little bumps in the road make it so worth it when you finish what you started. Lessons are more important that the win sometimes. All the little defeats make you strong and smarter. It’s all in the way you look at things. It’s really up to you. In the end you are UNDEFEATED. I hope that you stay undefeated all week. Remember you can handle any ole thing that this week throws at you. Have a blessed Sunday evening. ❤️Always.

The drive home.

Happy Saturday. What a beautiful day it is. I don’t know about where you are but it’s absolutely beautiful here. Not a cloud in the sky and a high of 79. I will absolutely take it. Our amazing Hilton Head vacation came to an end this morning and we embarked on the 6 hour drive home. Isn’t it funny how it seems to take forever to get to your destination but the drive home seems to be half the time? Do you just dread returning home after a vacation? It’s sort of a looming feeling of life back to normal. The days of rest, sleeping in, and lounging in the sun are over for a bit. Back to the old grind. Hmmmm. Does it have to be that way? Only if you want it to be. Who says you can’t take those good vibes back with you. Get rid of that dread. Life is good even when you are at home.

When I was a little girl we would go on vacation every year. Typically always to Myrtle Beach, SC. That’s where our daddy and momma liked to go. Boy those trips seem to take forever to arrive. I remember playing car bingo in the car and eating snacks. My momma always packed a huge bag. I think it was her attempt to keep us from yacking the entire way. We were very talkative little girls lol. Car bingo was so much fun. It made you pay attention to your surroundings. Hint for parents of littles; they still carry car bingo cards at Cracker Barrel restaurants. The little windows slide to cover you space so there’s no mess. Go grab some. The kiddos will love them. You can always resort to how many different states you can see on license plates. We did that too. We wrote them all down on a piece of paper lol. Anything to pass the time right? It’s ten times better than playing a video game or popping in a movie. We sure didn’t have that luxury as children.

One thing I learned from my momma was how to prepare for vacation. Of course I get packed up early and double check that I have all of my necessities but, the one stress reliever that she taught me most is something that most people don’t think about. Before I leave for vacation I ALWAYS clean my house. To me there is no better feeling to know that I am coming home to a clean house. It’s the best feeling in the world. The thought of going back to a pile of laundry and a mess piled everywhere makes me sick to my stomach. If you don’t do that, give it a whirl. It will make your drive home less stressful.

I don’t think I ever really dread going home. I love my little home town. I love my house and my yard. And, honestly, I miss my family when I’m away from them for more than a couple of days. I guess what I’m trying to say is enjoy your vacations but, love where you live. My husband and I had this discussion on our drive today. He said “isn’t it funny how we got to the beach for our vacation but people that live at the beach head to our mountains for theirs”. It’s so true. I think if I permanently lived in Hilton Head I wouldn’t appreciate it as much as I do when we just visit a few times each year. Now don’t get me wrong, if I won the lottery, this gal would live a month there and a month at home lol. I would LOVE it! But I think I have a 1 in about a 90 million chance of that happening so I will have to just look forward to my 2 or 3 times a year visits. Hey, a girl can dream can’t she? At the rate real estate is priced right now a person would just about have to win the lottery to get a one bedroom apartment 6 blocks from the ocean.

My hope for each of you is that you go on many vacations and that you enjoy every second of them. Memories. Make memories. But, I also hope that you don’t dead going home. Home should be your safe place and where your heart is. Love where you live. Enjoy your drive home. Have a beautiful Saturday! You are so loved. ❤️ Always.

It takes a revelation

Well hello! Boy howdy it’s been a bit. These last few months have consumed my life with more to do than I allowed myself time to do it in. So much so that it finally took its toll on my mind, spirit, and my body. Sometimes you get yourself in that predicament until BAMM you have a revelation! Well that’s where I am folks and where our blog begins. Without getting in to the deep dark story of these last three months I will just say, with 4 jobs and all the responsibilities that go along with it I completely allowed no time for things that were important. It took me a bit to even figure out what was important but, when it hits you let me tell ya, it hits you hard. So with that being said my husband and I took a well needed vacation to Hilton Head this week. In fact we aren’t leaving until tomorrow. My son had to work so it ended up just being the two of us. Y’all we’ve rested. From everything. Our jobs, cake making, Tastefully Simple selling, dental society work, all took a back set this week. More than one night this week we were in bed and asleep by 8:30 pm. All of my time has been devoted to my husband, thinking, praying, exercise, prioritizing my life, and eating entirely too much food. My scales are going to scream at me when I weigh in on Sunday morning lol. You cant out exercise a bad diet but, that’s for another blog. This trip was more than needed for the both of us and I can say this gal was physically and mentally on the brink of exhaustion.

A few days in to our week, while we were walking on the beach, I almost had a break down. I’m not sure if it was the beauty of the ocean, the fact that I was finally rested, or it was just God but, it was a revelation. You ever have one of those? I mean the kind that slaps you right in the face. That voice that said “ole girl you are 42 years old and it’s time to stop pleasing everyone else and take care of you”. Almost like a release that what others demand, think or feel do not matter at all. This short little life is more than that. The stress of being what you feel you have to be and pleasing others is not doing anything except harming your temple. Your temple that God gave specifically to you to cherish, protect, and take care of. Well y’all I wasn’t doing such a great job at it,

I went for a 4 mile run yesterday here on this beautiful island. For the first time in a very long time I used that time to look around. I used it to be thankful for all of the things that make me happy. Really happy. Believe it or not, the success of my jobs wasn’t one of them. Now don’t get me wrong. I truly love every job that I do. Truly. But, I realized I have allowed the success rate of each one of them to take the joy out of it. For example; I use to love the thought of going in my kitchen and baking all day but, now that I’ve had too many orders to fill it went from joy to paranoia that the client might not like the way the cake turned out. About a mile in to my run came the solution. No, longer will I over book myself. No more than 1 cake a week from this point forward. And I won’t take requests for cakes that are above my calling. I have a fried who does an amazing job with fondant and such so I will refer to her from now on. In other words my client will get delicious moist cakes with real icing and they will be beautiful but that’s all. Time to get back in to that kitchen and ENJOY the journey.

That wasn’t the only revelation I’ve had this week. I certainly had one for each of my jobs but more importantly I had time to see how important it is to take care if myself and my family. I love to work hard. You know that I loathe idle time. But, my plan is to work hard on things that I enjoy and that will improve my health rather than scarring it due to the stress. This week I looked over at my husband while we were lying by the pool. He was nose deep into his second book for the week. He’s also a red head (well white haired now) that is currently brown as a gingerbread lol. That’s hard for a red head. Anyway, what I am getting at is the peace that I saw in him. He’s pretty chill all of the time but, this last few years with the sickness and then passing of his mother, I saw a toll it was taking. Yes, his stress was much different than mine but, still it was there. I think whether he admits it or not he’s had some revelation this week too.

I guess the point I’m trying to get to is that I am coming out of this week feeling like a new woman. A woman with different priorities and the ability to say no to stay happy. At the forefront of those priorities are my husband, my son, my family, my God, my health and my mental status. Of course I will continue to work my jobs but, with less stress and more ease. I will always give 100% but I vow to turn the switch off upon completion and not allow it to consume me. Planning and scheduling are a definite go in my future. But, once the time scheduled for that particular task is over then that’s it. I won’t allow myself to stay up until 2 and 3 am consumed with it. And that schedule WILL include time for myself. Self care is so important.

For those of you that struggle with being pulled every direction and not knowing how to slow down I pray for you to somehow have a revelation. Join me in this new step. You just can’t take care of others if you aren’t taking care of yourself. As I say “if it takes your peace it’s not your path”. Jump on another path. Find what makes you happy and gives you peace. Then, for goodness sakes, do THAT. I’m not sure what I’ve been waiting for almost 43 years but lovelies this gal is ready. Ready for each new day. Ready for each fresh start. Ready to smile because I really want to. Ready for complete happiness. If you are on the struggle bus, it begins right here. Get off in that next bus stop. Start new. Every day is a new adventure and a reason to really live. Love this beautiful life and most importantly love yourself. Be the person that makes you happy and that you are proud of. If you have any words to help others please feel free to comment. We’re all in this together. Let’s stay positive and love on each other. Have a beautiful Friday and know how much you are loved. ❤️ Always.

My view and revelation moment.

Play it loud

Good evening and HAPPY FRIDAY!!! Woohoo it’s my favorite day of the week. The day I look forward to. The day that causes me to “wish my life away” wanting it to get here. My little mamaw would get on to me for that. “Don’t wish your life away” I can hear her say lol. I can’t help it really. Friday’s just make me want to dance and sing with a big huge smile on my face. Speaking of that what kind of influence does your music have on you? Are there songs, people, bands, genres that you listen to that just make you happy? Isn’t it funny how one little song can bring back memories (good or bad) from the past. I truly can’t begin to explain what an impact music has on my life. I listen to music all day, every day. Do you?

Now y’all know that I am the retro queen but as far as music I love me some 80’s music. It’s the nostalgia. It brings back memories of being at home with my momma and daddy and my 3 siblings. I got some good 70’s music exposure with my brother. He is the oldest and his young years were filled with Ted Nugent, Jon Waite, Air Supply, and Chicago. I know that’s all over the board but he had records galore and we (my little sister and I) would sneak and listen to them on his big stereo system in his room. I mean two little stragle haired girls jumping around dancing to “Cat Scratch Fever”. It was a sight to behold lol. 80’s music is still my go to. That and folk or progressive bluegrass. Some days I even lean to my contemporary Christian music.

Are there certain songs that bring back tons of memories for you? Man there are so many for me. When my son was a baby, probably until age 4, I would sing him to sleep. I would cuddle him up in my papaws old rocking chair and sing to him until he drifted off. “Baby Mine” was his favorite song. I leaned this song through watching the movie “Beaches”. I love Bette Midler’s voice and I love that movie. I must have sang that song 10,000 times over the years. So much that Walker would say “sing baby mine momma”. Just talking about it brings me to tears. Not because it’s sad but, because my son is now an adult and I can’t grab him up and rock him to sleep anymore. James Taylor’s “The Water Is Wide” was another one I sang to him every day. He would always chime in and sing “and both shall row, my love and i”. It was so sweet coming out of a little 2 year olds mouth. He has grown to love music as much as I do. He played trombone in the middle and high school band and I feel that those who can read the music understand the words a little better. He love what he calls “old country” which absolutely fits his sweet old soul. Hop into his truck with him and I guarantee that you will hear George Jones, Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, or Conway Twitty. That child. I swear he is my daddy made over. What great memories.

I want to encourage you to find some music that you love this weekend and just turn it up. In your car. In your kitchen. In the shower. Anywhere. Turn it up. Grab your babies or your friend, or your spouse, or even a sibling and dance. Laugh and sing. Sing as loud as you can and don’t worry about the words. The best part is when you sing the wrong words anyway. I promise it will bring a smile to your face and it will bring happiness to your heart. Fellas grab your wife or your momma’s and swing them around the room to one of their favorite song. You will give them a memory they will never ever forget. Moments like this are priceless and in the busy time that we live in it’s such a huge blessing. It’s personal. Turn it up and dance. Happy happy weekend. I wish you many joys and tons of dances. ❤️ Always

Balance

Wow these last couple of weeks have been nuts for me hence; I have not had time to post one single blog. That for me is super poo because I loving writing my blogs and I love even more that I get feedback from folks all over the place. I think sometimes we spread ourselves just so thin. I certainly have over the last couple of weeks. I posted a little about this on my FB this week but thought that it was just so important to me that I wanted to devote a blog post to it. Do you just over book yourself? Do you ever make more commitments than there are hours in the day? Is it just me? Boy I sure hope not. I know that this amazing like that we live is certainly fact paced and for most there isn’t enough time each day to get all that we need to get done but, I am trying to learn some balance. Brothers and sisters that’s a very hard pill for me to swallow. Balance! As you all know from previous blogs, I don’t like idle time. Each morning I get up early and I hit the ground running. My goal is to get as much done in the waking hours that I have. Well this week I had a little rude awakening or a “come to Jesus meeting” with myself as I like to call it.

Here’s the gist of it. I work so many jobs. Now don’t get me wrong, as I’ve said before, I am not complaining. I’m blessed. I get up every morning between 4:30 and 5 so that I can get a work out in. You know if you don’t take care of your temple, you can’t take care of whAt you need to do during the day. You have to take care of you. I also try to work on my part time business in the morning. In am a consultant for Tastefully Simple. If you haven’t tried it you should. I will explain all about the food products in another blog. I get emails sent out and orders placed in the wee hours of the morning. I am also a part time secretary for a local dental society. These dentists just love that they get emails from me either super early or very late lol. By 8 am I am at my “real” full time office job. My lunch is consumed with finishing up what I have left to do for the dental society. Thankfully I only live about 3 minutes from my office. When 5 pm rolls around I am out the door headed home to do my baking. Yes, I also make cakes, cupcakes, and cookies. Later evenings are filled with cleaning and pricing terms for the booth that my son and I rent at a local antique store. That job is my favortie because I get to spend the time with my son and sweet momma. Sometime after that I pile in to bed lol. Whew! I get tired just reading and typing all of that. So as you see I’m not lazy (I loathe laziness) and I don’t have idle time. However, I am struggling with some balance.

Here’s my rude awakening. Now y’all are gonna find this super weird. No judgement. Earlier this week I woke myself up from a bad dream. A nightmare really. This is coo coo but here it is. I dreamed that I was standing in our living room with my husband and he was so upset. He just kept saying that I had made myself too busy to be a wife. He said that he didn’t know me anymore because all that I did was work and that I no longer had any time for him. I knew I was in a dream because, I truly have the most wonderful, supportive husband. He is my biggest fan when it comes to my many adventures. I even told him in my dream “I know this is a dream so I’m going to wake up”. He kept saying no, you need to understand what I’m saying. Y’all I woke up in tears. I literally woke my husband up and told him about it. Pleading that he not be upset with me not having balance. He of course, said for me not to worry and comforted me. Now I know y’all think that was stupid. But, I don’t. To me it was a sign. Truth is, I am overdoing it. I am not situating my time. Not prioritizing it to whee it should be. I don’t necessarily think I need to stop doing all of my “adventures” but, I do need to find the balance.

Like I said above my husband is super supportive of anything I decide to try to do. I am with him as well. He loves being in a band and I try to support that as much as possible. He also loves his lazy Sundays and I try to stay out of the living room and let him have his rest while he watches his sports. We are a great team but I can’t help but think that the little dream that I had was a sign. Maybe it was the words that he would never say to a me but may actually feel. It made me take a step back and take a long hard look at things. You see, my marriage is one of the most important “adventures” in my life. Along with being a momma, a daughter, a sister, and a child of God. So maybe this was Gods little way of letting me know that I may be neglecting some areas which are more important than my jobs. Since the “nightmare” I have been thinking and praying about what I can do to balance myself to be better well rounded. Beginning this morning the first thing that I put on my schedule is when I will be a wife, momma, sister, daughter and child of God. I also began to schedule important time for myself other than just exercise. My hope is that I won’t feel lesser of a person by doing this.

Lovelies, it’s okay to be busy and to work hard but, what I’m realizing is that it’s NOT okay to neglect yourself, your children, your significant others, your family, or you God. I’m definitely not the expert to give any advise on this matter but, I am trying so hard to do better. With that being said, do any of you find yourself in this situation? If so, what do you do to find your balance? We can all use some tips in this area and I for certain would love to hear your comments. We’re all in this together so let’s help encourage each other and give each other advise. I hope that you all have a wonderful “balanced” Thursday evening! ❤️ Always.

Appreciative

Good evening everyone and Happy Sunday evening. Did this weekend fly by or what? The older I get the more that I appreciate the time that I get with my family and away from my hectic workweeks. I try not to wish my life away but, boy do I crave Saturday’s and Sunday’s. Speaking of that, I just wanted to make this blog about being appreciative for the things that we have. I think we should all take time to realize how blessed we are. When you think about it, how lucky are we to have all that we do.

Materials. Are you a “material girl” or guy? Oh, I love that Madonna song “because we’re living in a material world and I am a material girl”. You know I’m always gonna reference my 80’s. But think about that. We truly are living in a “material” world. When I think back to just my grandparents and their way of living I believe that most of us couldn’t live like that. They lived outside of town so instead of wasting gas they went to the grocery store once per week. They made a shopping list and stuck to it. They didn’t buy vegetables because they had a garden in their yard. They bought enough groceries for the week because they cooked every day. Going out to dinner was a special occasion and a treat. Let’s not get started on their modest home. Land was more important than the house that sat on it. Their vehicles were paid for (typically they only owned one because she was a housewife). There were no car loans and the vehicle was well driven and very well maintained. Nice clothes were purchased to wear out to church or for that special dinner. You put your “work clothes” on when you were at the house. They went on vacation every year, yes, but they went once a year and it was special. They saved money during the year for that time away. It was something they looked forward to not something that they were “use” to. Now I know things cost a lot less back then but, wages were a lot smaller back then as well. Momma’s stayed home because there weren’t day cares. There were nannies that could be hired but their reason was why? Why would momma go to work to just use all of her pay for someone else to raise her babies? I know that all seems so ancient especially to you young ones. Honestly this was my grandparents and they have only been gone for about 11 years. Just about 65 years ago, which is just the blink of an eye.

Here’s and example of what I mean. I’m talking about me now. This is an example of my week. I work 3 jobs (yes i said 3). I have a full time job and two part time ones. I get up at 5 am so that I have time to work out and typically work one of the part time jobs before my real one starts. I work my regular job 40 plus house a week and then I come home to my wonderful husband and son. I work on the other job in the evening and weekends. We watch television on one of the 4 that we have in our home with more cable channels then we will ever have time to watch. We all have our iPhone’s because Lord help if we aren’t “connected”. My husband and son both work their tails off at their jobs as well so no I’m not the “bread winner”. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining as I do not like idle time, I come home to Amazon packages. I go to the nail salon every 3 weeks. We go to dinner 2 times a week and we plan 2 vacations every year. I don’t put on my work clothes in fact I have more clothes than I will ever need. And my car is only 2 years old. Y’all I never thought of myself as a “material girl” until I wrote this blog. Wow. I mean wow. So here’s what I want us all to understand. This world has made it so easy to have “things”. “Things” are okay. But, how lucky are we? I mean how long has it been since you’ve sat back and looked at all that you have and just been appreciative? I’m talking to me too. Have we actually looked at the blessing that we have?

I know that we are all so busy. Life is hectic and we are being pulled every direction it seems. But, if you haven’t, I want you to take a few minutes to do something. Go for a little drive in your car. This week I drove to my momma’s and what triggered me to write this post is a few things that I saw. She lives in our downtown area which is about 15 minutes from my house. In those mere 15 minutes I saw things that made my heart just sink. In those moments, on purpose, I was looking for the bad. I was trying to see the sadness that exists in my area. I know that sounds strange but sometimes I think it’s necessary to get our heads out of our tails to see things that we may not ordinarily see. We have a homeless situation in our down town area that seems to be spreading more and more. I can remember as a child never seeing anyone on the streets in our town. Maybe it was there and I just didn’t pay attention. All I know is that, at that moment, on my way to my momma’s, I ended up in tears and praying so hard. Praying in thanksgiving for the roof over my head, for having a full tummy, a warm house, mental and physical health. Y’all I was, and am, so appreciative. I needed to see the sad in order to make me appreciate all that I have. You just never realize all that you have until you look at the poor souls that have nothing. So the next time you are down and feel like you have it bad, get in the car and drive to an area that struggles. I will hot you like a to of brick. Pray for those folks. If you can, help. Bring clothing that you no longer use. Bring shoes and socks, gloves and coats. Bring food. Whatever you can do. In the end we are probably all just a few paychecks away from a hard situation so don’t judge. And remember, there are people out there that would give anything for the life you live. I hope you all have a wonderful night and a great week ahead. ❤️Always.

Adjust your crown

Good evening and Happy Wednesday. Yes, we’ve almost made it through another week. Can you believe we are almost to March???? Wow has this year already began to fly or what! Last year was definitely one for the books and if you feel anything like me you are ready to write a new chapter. I remember when I was a little girl my mamaw used to say to be “don’t wish your life away”. I remember thinking how sssslllooowww the days would roll by. You know those thoughts that little kids have where they wish they were adults. I always wished that I would have my own house, my own husband, my own kids, and thinking how it would all be perfect. Well children let me tell ya something. It ain’t all its cracked up to be. You get all those things you wished for but you also get the bills with that house, the worries that come with children, and the roller coaster that comes with marriage. Oh and if you are sitting there saying that none of the bad goes with the good either you are fibbing to yourself or you are living in a fantasy lol. I know that you are thinking “wow this blog seems a little negative. Bear with me. It isn’t negative at all. In fact darling, I hope that reading this gives you a new light on your bad days and you learn to adjust your crown.

“And the prince kissed the princess and they lived happily ever after”. “He was her knight in shining armor and he carried her into the darkness on his horse”. “She kissed the frog and it turned in to the handsome prince”. ……….. Did you throw up in your mouth a little? I love those sappy love stories. Give me a beach chair, sunshine, and a harlequin romance novel and I’m in heaven. But, for some people their relationships are far from romance novels. In fact, for some, it is more of a horror story or an endless nightmare. Believe me, I’ve been there in the past and it is no fun at all. It is not normal to dread coming home. It is not normal to be “afraid” to have a discussion with another adult. These things are not good. They are not normal. Run, run far away. I know that there are folks out there that deal with this every single day from their significant others. In most situations, no one on the outside would know how miserable life is behind closed doors. You just put on a fake smile and keep acting as if things are perfect. I just want to say if you are sitting in this situation, this is just a small path. A sort of speed bump on the middle of your road. Do whatever you can to get out of that situation and (male or female), adjust your crown. You have so many unwritten chapters ahead of you. Don’t look back. Don’t regret. Just adjust your crown and move forward.

My mamaw was full of good. Just all around she was good. But good advise was her forte. She would always say “Tell that devil to get off your shoulder” when something not so pleasant would happen. Y’all I still say it today. I literally say it out loud. Thankfully I dont have a lot of “bad” things happen to me but, even when I get frustrated or over worry (Lordy lou do I worry), I say “devil, you aren’t getting me today” and then I think of her sweet laugh. There she was married to the same man for almost 75 years, laughing, and telling the devil to get off of her shoulder lol. I’m certain that the time that they had together was not always roses and rainbows. In fact I know it wasn’t. But the trials that they went through over the years made them who they were. I guess what I am trying to say is that each day we have in this beautiful life, well, its making us who we are suppose to be. There is nothing that you cant handle. God will never put more on you than you can stand. It may seem like it for a bit but, I like to think of it as a test. Not as in what you can endure but how you responded to it. You are here to flourish. You are here for a reason. Adjust your crown and carry on.

I think all of this not only applies to your relationships but even parenting and your career. Being a momma is one of the most wonderful gifts that I have been given. I have cherished every single day of being Walker’s momma. Even though it has been amazing, it is also hard. I mean here you are one of the most important people in that little boy’s life. If you make a mistake guess who’s watching. It takes its toll and I worried so much that I wasn’t too good at it. One day I realized that all I could do is love him and show that every day. Everything else would just fall in to place. It does fall in to place by the way. No matter how much you worry or hover or beat yourself up about it, all that matters in the end is that you did your best and loved that child with everything in your soul. As far as your career, lovelies you ARE going to have tough days. It’s called working with other humans. It’s not going to be perfect every day. What I learned to remind myself is that this is just a job. Yes, it is important. Yes, you have to get a paycheck. Yes, you have to work hard and do your best. But, at the end of the day, it is just a job. Do not let your career upset you to the point that you dread one single day. If it does control you then maybe it might be time to think about making a change. You know, adjust your crown and move one. As I say, if it takes your peace it’s not your path.

For those of you out there that have struggled in relationships I just want to encourage you to hang in there. Take care of yourself. I mean get out but, take care of you. I promise there is something wonderful out there waiting for you. I am living proof of that. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in life than my husband. We are truly blessed and I think my son will attest to that. You adjust your crown and don’t you dare let anything defeat you. God doesn’t make mistakes and he made you perfectly in his image. You are worth too much to so many to not take care of you! Have a truly blessed night. ❤️Always