A good cry

Friends, we made it through another week. It may have been great, or it may have hurt a little. To some it was full of good and excitement and to others it may have smacked you in the face. Either way we made it through. The sun rose and set every single day. It’s funny that no matter what is going on, time still carries on like that’s its job. Time doesn’t care if you wish it were in slow motion. Like when you’re on vacation and you never want it to end. And then when you have a bad day and it drag on forever. Time just does its deal and gets the day over to start another fresh one. I just try to be thankful for getting to watch that time move for another day.

Let’s talk about a bad day. I know, I know it’s not a good positive subject. Miss positive Polly here seldom blogs about anything except positive. Well tonight, I feel the need talk about the bad. I think it gets better at the end lol. For starters this week has sort of been the pits. On top of a horrible bout with insomnia all week long, work hasn’t been the best. Insomnia is a boil on the butt of humanity! Last night I tossed and turned for hours. My legs were wiggly and I couldn’t get anything to relax. I think I was up and down about 20 times and I finally fell asleep around 5:30 am and the clock went off at 6:30. Yep, you calculated that right. I got a whopping one hour of sleep. I guess it was sleep. I could have passed out from exhaustion. The entire week has been 3 hours or less a night. I go through spells like that. Usually after nine or ten days I will crash. I can go on no sleep (obviously) but, my body hurts like someone has beaten me with a tennis racket. Thats the bad part.

Grumpy, exhausted, and not a nice person, I hauled my tail to work this morning. And when I say hauled, I mean I walked down the hall to my office. I know, it’s a terrible treck. I get settled in to view my cases and immediately get sacked in the face with a bad email and another that was just downright rude. Ten minutes in to a ten hour shift and I’m already contemplating Judy Choppin. (if you don’t know what that is you’ll just have to google it. Seriously do. He’s hilarious). Two cups of coffee and a Jim Croce record later and I had decided no Judy Choppin needed today lol.

By the time my workday was over I was a mess. I down right looked like some kind of electrocuted chicken that just needed a bath. I know I’ve told you all how lucky I am to still have my momma. She’s a saint in so many ways even when she isn’t trying. This evening, even at 45 years old, I just needed my momma. I drove down there and walked in and just started bawling. She didn’t say more that one or two words. “What’s wrong” of course were the first words out of her mouth. And I couldn’t even tell her. It was almost like what wasn’t wrong. I was exhausted. I was hurting all over. I was hurt. I was mad. All the emotions all at once. She gave me a tissue, a glass of ice water, an Ibuprofen and simply said “now get over there and sit down and be still a minute”. Be Still. Be Still. Those words. It’s what my daddy use to say to me. Those two little words mean so much that I have them tattooed on my wrist. In my mommas handwriting no doubt. After I got it all out I felt better. My face looked like a busted can of biscuits with all the swelling, but I felt better.

So here’s the deal. You can’t be sunshine all of the time. It isn’t possible. We all have bad days. We sometimes even have bad weeks. It IS okay. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel mad. It’s okay to be tired. It’s even okay to think about Judy Choppin (lol, just dont do it). Get it out! Then just Be Still. You have permission to get upset and down. Just dont unpack your bags and live in that emotion. Get it out then stand up. Adjust your crown! Lift up your face and carry on. If all else fails and you have the ability, go see your momma. Go home. It always makes it better. I hope each of you have a lovely evening. Thanks for sharing your time.